Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
