he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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