If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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