the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
