thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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