Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
