dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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