I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
