I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
