Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
