:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
