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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...

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• (714): View more from California

  I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Don't make emojis simulating eating me out

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet

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