How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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