She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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