If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also, beer. Big fan.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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