I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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