You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Someone shit on the floor
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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