I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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