i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
