connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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