i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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