WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
