The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize