and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
