I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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