"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize