Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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