Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I had to cum in my sink.
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