one two three fourrrrnication!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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