Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
