pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize