Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
