there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
