It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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