pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize