i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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