bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
