i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
