She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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