So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
