that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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