Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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