summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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