it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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