How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He better not be in your backpack
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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