I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
