uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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