We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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