Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
