We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize