Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
