i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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