I swear she didn't look like that last week.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
