Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
