Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
