you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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