When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was confusing and full of hummus
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
