no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
