Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
