I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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