"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
